Once I got home from visiting with my mom and step dad, I sat and discussed it all with my family. The kids were particularly interested in their grandparents' reactions. I told them the story.
My daughter (16) said, "So are you just coming out to everyone then?" We hadn't really discussed this with them yet, but I said, "Well, eventually, yes." She started crying. I explained to her that my ultimate goal is to be able to stop living two separate lives and that will require coming out to the people who are closest to us. She said she didn't want her friends to know. I said, "Well honey, they are going to know some day." She cried harder and then I told her that every single decision I (we) make we consider their feelings and that I'm not going to just shout it from the rooftops. She was worried that I was going to post it on my family blog. I assured her that I wouldn't just announce it that way. I said, "I am working my way through the family first, and once a few key people are told then I'm going to tell a few close friends. Once that happens I may just incorporate my two lives into one blog for everyone to read. I don't want to hide anymore!" She said, "I don't want (her best friend) to find out about it because you told her mom." I said, "Well, her mom is one that I would like to sit down and talk to. I will tell you when I'm ready and give you a reasonable amount of time to tell your friend(s) and then I will talk to her mom. I will be sensitive to your needs in that way but you need to know that I'm not going to ask your permission to come out. It's going to happen sooner rather than later. It won't be within the next couple of weeks, but it will definitely be within the year."
At that point she got up and walked away to do her homework. Not very happily, I might add. But things are okay now. She's talking to me and letting me help with her assignment. My sons just played around and listened at times and ignore me at others. That's fairly typical of them.
More than anything I want this all to work out perfectly for all of us. Not just me. Not just the kids. Not just Hubby. I want us to all be happy and to thrive. I wish I had the answers, it sure would be a lot easier. The best I can do is keep moving forward, being honest and open with everyone. That would include talking to the kids about a potential divorce but I'm not ready to tackle that one just yet. Baby steps.
All in all I feel very positive about the steps I took today. I appreciate those of you who knew and gave me support. I couldn't do it without each of you!!