Hubby and I have been talking about divorce quite a bit lately. We've been all over the map with our decisions, but I think we've finally decided to go through with it immediately. We will still live together. He will still work full time and allow me to go to school full time. We will have separate bedrooms. We will both take care of the house and the children. His will be the only income and he will take care of me until I can afford to take care of myself and our children. Divorcing is NOT the dream we've had for ourselves, but I'm grateful that we'll achieve an "ideal divorce." We will remain best friends and take care of each other and the children. One day we'll move apart. Our dream is to one day own a duplex. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Tonight, as we were eating at a restaurant, we were talking yet again about our impending divorce. As we were discussing the probability of finding a lawyer within the next couple of weeks to get things underway, I heard "our song" on the overhead radio. I immediately started sobbing. After I pointed it out to him that the song that was playing had been sung by his cousin at our wedding, he started crying with me. How ironic is it that the song is "Now and Forever" ... as we're preparing for the end. I guess the oceans are about to no longer meet the sand.
Yes, it will be an "ideal divorce" but it's not a beautiful and happy thing. It will be very difficult for both of us and we're not burying our heads in the sand about that. We both expressed that we wish we could be more for our spouse, but recognize that it's just not in the cards for us. I love Hubby so much. What an incredibly beautiful and selfless man. I am so grateful for him in my life. I am even more grateful that he will remain by my side even after our divorce.
Please give me any pertinent information you may have about the divorce process. We live in Utah. We require the bare minimum as far as legal council goes. Maybe we could do it on our own?? It will be a very easy process but we might need some guidance. I've heard we can use a 30 minute free consultation to interview lawyers - what questions would we need to ask? What else should we expect and how long does the divorce process generally take? Does anyone know anything about inexpensive health care? The questions are endless. If you have information that you feel would be helpful, please pass it my way.
With a heavy heart...
FMW
4 comments:
You don't have to publish this if you don't want to...The level of legal advice is contingent on the level of agreement or disagreement that you guys have over custody, child support, alimony and assets. The courts recommend that you guys talk about these things very openly. There is an actual State of UT court website where you can go in and plug information in so you know more or less all they ask for, it is here http://www.utcourts.gov/ocap/
I recommend that you go in and play with it, save your session and return often even if you don't intend to use it officially. In my mind they cover pretty much all the aspects of a divorce. Once you file it can take up to 90 days unless you waive wait times then about 4 weeks. Both of you have to take a mandatory parenting class with the courts. If you need more info, email me (my email is in my profile). Hope that things move ok for you guys, divorce is never pleasant but often times it is the best of all options---
Hugs,Miguel
Wish I had some legal advice to offer. I don't. But for your sake, I hope things work out for the best.
:(
I don't think this is a sad thing at all FMW. It is the first step in your new life. A life of being true to yourself and becoming anyone you want to be. Giving yourself and your husband permission to be happy. Showing your kids that being happy and true to who you really are is what is important in this life. New is hard and always a little scary but I think it is a time to celebrate! Congratulations to you both!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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