Thursday, January 16, 2014

Love Without Limits

Once I posted a link to Kim’s blog on Facebook, a family member decided to be snide in the comment section. This doesn’t necessarily surprise me, but for some reason I’ll never stop being surprised by the common misunderstandings that we receive as gay Mormons.

Kim’s blog (linked below in my previous post) was beautifully written from a deeply saddened heart. She spoke her truth that she continues to hurt when people have limits on their love for her, simply because she is living true to who she is.

My family member’s comment referred to Kim as “this person” and refused to even acknowledge her as a real person. I pointed out that it was this type of disrespect that Kim was referring to in her plea. The family member said she meant no disrespect and thought I knew her better, but that doesn’t remove the blatant disrespect that was shown.

This same family member’s daughter posted a very passive aggressive status update on Facebook that read:

its hard to sit by and watch people try to make somebody feel bad for what they believe. if you want to live your life how you know your not suppose to then fine but dont go cutting people down cuz they dont agree with you... when you say we have to be accepting to the way you are i have to laugh.. i dont accept it and never will but it doesnt effect my life so i dont care what you do with yours.....”. i wont hate you cuz the life you choose and i know other people feel the same but dont start this whole " everybodies against me" crap... if these people look back at what they wrote they would reallize that they made something big out of two little words...and thats what they wanted.. somebody to disagree..." It was obviously in response to what had happened, but rather than jump to that conclusion, I decided to send her a private message asking if it was aimed toward me. She’s never responded.
Somehow it hit me when reading her message… NO WONDER people have such a hard time dealing with us. They hold the belief that we know this “behavior” is wrong, yet we willfully go against it. They believe that we’re taking something that is precious to God and spitting in His face in regards to it. I’m sure this is obvious to a lot of you, but I had never thought of it in quite that way.

I can only speak for myself, but I’m sure many of you feel the same way. I have received a witness that the way I’m currently living my life is favored by God. I do not feel the guilt and shame that accompanies me when I’m blatantly disregarding what God wants for me. As a matter of fact, I feel peace and warmth, and even continued strength because I’m precisely where I need to be. I regularly check in with my Heavenly Father, making sure I’m still favored in His eyes. If I were to receive the message that I’m on the completely wrong track, I would make considerations at that time. I don’t believe that will happen because I trust that God knows my heart and quite frankly, I trust God.

Once I read this particular status update, I started thinking about so many things. What about the people in my family who drink, or the ones who have lived with their significant other before marriage, or had a baby out of wedlock, or who gambles, or has been put in jail, or who gets tattoos, or at the very least (most?) don’t honor their mother and father? What about them? I would assume that most of them know, in a traditional Christian way, that these things go against what God would have them do. Most of these things are widely known by most of us in the family. The interesting part is that I have never treated any of them differently because of these “sins.” It has not once affected my relationship with my family. It enters my head as knowledge and that’s about it. It never occurred to me to treat them differently, or love them “even though.” I simply went forward, as have most of my other family members. Yet this topic of homosexuality seems to take hold and makes people stand up for what they believe in. Okay, that’s fine; however, why not stand up equally for the other sins you disagree with?

You will never convince me that this sort of treatment that I experienced in the past couple of days on Facebook, and at other times, isn’t unrighteous judgment. How could it be any different?

As a side note, in response to her Facebook update, I have NEVER asked anyone to accept that homosexuality is "right" or "good." I've only asked to be treated with kindness regardless of their stance on the topic. Keep loving me. Keep wanting me to hang out with you. Remember who I am and who you've always loved. It should be simple, really.

I fully believe that humankind is on the path to kindness and acceptance. We may never see in our lifetime all that we desire, but we have to be grateful each day for the small steps that people are making. We need to recognize forward progress and we need to share gratitude appropriately. I’ll continue to do my part by loving without limits.

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