Saturday, May 3, 2014


There have been some exceptional changes in the past few months. Although I generally dread change, at this point I find myself genuinely happy and free. It's been a long while, but it's happening!

I was given a promotion at work. I've continued to move up in the company every few months since I began working there almost two years ago. I'm very fortunate to work with the people that I do. I've formed some fairly important and amazing relationships there.

I have my boys every other full week, which makes it entirely too quiet on the off weeks, but I've learned to adjust and fill my time with meaningful people and activities. My new shift at work should have been 2:00 pm to 10:00 pm, but my boss lady knows of my situation and wanted me to have a schedule conducive to raising boys. The weeks that I have my boys, I work 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, so I can be home in time to cook dinner, do homework, and have an hour or two of down time before they go to bed. The weeks that I don't have them, I only have to work 10:00 am to 6:00 pm. I'm so lucky to have the boss that I do, who recognizes the importance of taking care of home while still working a full day. I continue to see blessings all around me.

My daughter has finished all of her papers and medical appointments for her mission. All that is left to do is meet with her bishop in a week or two to turn in her papers. Last night, one of her best friends opened her own call and is excited to go to a Mexico mission, speaking Spanish. My daughter hopes with everything in her that she gets to serve a foreign mission. I hope that as well. If I can't see her for 18 months anyway, I hope she gets to see the world! Heaven knows I'll never be able to afford to send her.

The fact that she is getting ready to serve a full time mission creates many conflicting thoughts and feelings for me, but more than anything I find myself excited for her. She wants this so much, and her happiness is contagious. I'm getting excited right along with her. The day she told me that the only thing left was her doctor's appointment the next day, my heart dropped significantly. It was sudden and extreme. I realized in that moment that she's so close to fleeing the nest and I'm not so sure that I'm ready. But that evening, I once again prayed about her happiness and found myself at peace. Whether I agree with all that is taught in the church or not, I do find value in so much of the teachings. More than anything, I believe in my daughter and I trust that she knows what is right for her. I can be supportive and excited in that, and I am.

My 16 year old son is on his first date today. He has facial hair and is getting ready to get his driver's permit. He is 6'3" and growing. I look at this young man and see him transforming into such an amazing person. He's thoughtful and kind and aware of others (most of the time... come on, he's a 16 year old boy!). We've had some deep discussions recently where I've learned of his heart even more than I recently did. Watching him mature has been incredible but I'm not ready for him to be a man who takes on the world, yet I am. I have no doubt he'll continue to make the good choices that he has.

My youngest, my 11 year old boy, is still a mama's boy. He sends me texts from his iPod, saying I'm beautiful, that he hopes I had a good day, and that he loves me. He shows up on my doorstep on occasion, on his dad's week, and melts my heart. He loves to just say hello and get a hug. Luckily, I live within walking distance of their other house, and I can stop by for a hug any time. This sweet boy is a great example to me of how to help people, and how to be kind. This one is ever thoughtful and considers the people around him (again, most of the time).

I am taught so much by my children every day. They have gone through a lot in their young lives, but they have such strength! I watch and learn, and I'm grateful that I have them. They teach me what love is and because of that, we're all thriving.

My life has purpose. My life is filled with the love of my children and that makes my life perfect!

It's a good day to be alive!!


Trevor - INSIDE gay Mormon said...

Sounds like an amazing family!

Miguel said...

I'm happy to read your post.

Having lived through a lot of things myself I know what is like to have your kids, then suddenly they're away, next thing they're growing up and feels like I'm missing 1/2 of their life, but we make the best of it and I'm happy that things are working out alright for you.

Kelly slash FindingMyWay said...

Thank you both! I feel very blessed.