Monday, December 27, 2010

My Amazing Husband

There's this woman. She and I found each other online. But I'm a married woman with three children. What to do? I had a discussion with my husband and told him about my conversations with her. I didn't want to betray him. I want to be fair to everyone, but it feels virtually impossible. After some consideration he said that he would be fine if I "flirted" with her as long as I agreed to not "meet up" with her.

This man is amazing!! He truly is. He will give anything and everything for my happiness. I don't want to take advantage of his kindness, but I know that honesty is the only way we're ever going to work through anything. If in the future he becomes uncomfortable with it, he reserves the right to tell me. We are working together and are very committed to each other and to our children. He wants me to be able to experience my "real" self in a safe way. I could not ask for more in a husband.

Now if I could just have a wife. What's wrong with having my cake and eating it too??!? Sigh.

What a slippery slope I always find myself on. There has to be a balance. There have to be boundaries. I'm just not good at any of that. I'm determined to be honest and open with all parties and take it from there. I don't know how else to do it anymore.

Today my heart is happier.


Neal said...

You do have an awesome husband! I would say to set your boundaries up now and write them down. Share them with hubby. That will help you keep within them.

All of us have to deal with boundaries in one way or another. When they keep us from danger or hurt, they're good. If they repress us, they're bad. Sometimes it can get tricky knowing the difference.

I know you can do this and have a friend to share with. Just create good boundaries in the beginning and stick with it! :)

FindingMyWay said...

Hey Neal, you'll have to read my new post, explaining our current situation.

Boundaries are something I've NEVER gotten right. They are good, you're absolutely right, and they are very necessary. I just suck at it!! Because I am an "all or nothing" sort of gal, I had to walk away from my new friend. I'm not good at the in between and after just a few days it was obvious that I would fail miserably at remaining appropriate.


One day I'll get this whole thing figured out. One day.

alex dumas said...

Where can I find one of these amazing husbands?

FindingMyWay said...

Sorry Alex, I'm pretty sure he's one of a kind. Good luck on your search though...there's bound to be someone out there for you!!

Job said...

You have a great husband...

I've read your most recent posts n it was so intriguing that I had to read everything else. I love your blog. but I just have a small concern

but what about his life?...

whats is going to happen when/if you find a partner and he is left alone..?

I dont mean to bash you.

FindingMyWay said...

Job (Manuel?) -

Thank you for reading my blog from the beginning. This is a very valid question, believe me! I do not feel in the least amount that you are trying to bash me. I'm working through this process and being honest and that's about all I have. Sometimes I'm smarter than other times. This post was definitely an example of not being very smart or considerate. Hopefully my more recent posts have explained how much I DO consider my husband and children and try to make sure OUR futures are exactly what we ALL deserve.

I worry so much about all of us. This post was more selfish, for sure, but thankfully I've moved out of that frame of mind. Mostly.

Thanks for inquiring!!