Friday, January 14, 2011

YIKES

Yesterday I received an acceptance letter from the University.

Today I received a notification that my financial aid is being processed.

This very moment I am FREAKING OUT!!!!

I'm excited, yes. I'm scared to death, yes. I believe this is what my future is supposed to look like, even though one week ago college didn't register on my radar. Funny that. My life is progressing forward quite nicely. My kids are giggling at the "your mom goes to college" joke from Napoleon Dynamite. They've all agreed to pitch in and help me with my homework...even my 8 year old. Sadly, he is probably more advanced in his education than I am. It's been SO long!! And when I was in school, I was horrible. I barely graduated high school and then pretended to go to school for a couple of semesters way back when. I would be lying if I thought this was going to be anything other than entirely frightening and difficult.

But I have my orders.

* I HAVE to first become and then remain POSITIVE (that will be tricky).
* I CANNOT put myself down constantly.
* I HAVE to believe that I'm capable of doing well in school.
* I HAVE to recognize the good that will come from this major step in my journey forward.

I'm not kidding... I'm being FORCED into these things. : ) What a challenge! And I thought college was going to be hard!!

But as I sit here today, writing about my eventual college education becoming a reality, I find myself more confident in myself. Why can't I do well? Why can't I take classes and get good grades? Why can't I make a name for myself? The truth is that I CAN. And I WILL.

Yikes!!

14 comments:

Hub said...

YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You are smart enough, and you have an awesome support system that will be there for you every step of the way!

FindingMyWay said...

Credit given where credit due: YOU are my biggest supporter!! Thanks Hubby. And I hope you're prepared to sit next to me and help with homework every night. Good thing you're smart. Together we can make sure I succeed.

FindingMyWay said...

"You are smart enough..."

...and gosh darnit, people like me!!

Hub said...

Ha! I was thinking of going there. Don't know why I didn't.

Neal said...

I have total faith and confidence in you! What a wonderful blessing and opportunity this is for you. I know you will love it!

Nicole said...

You know I have nothing but total faith in you AND your ability to follow those very good orders! Seriously, if I can do it so can you! I believe I was out of school longer than you when I went back and my kid was too young to help me with my homework so I had to figure it out. I know you can do it, you just have to want it and believe!!! If ever you get down and think you can't do this, think of me and give me a shout... I can help you with your homework too!!!
:)

Nicole said...

I'm so proud of you. I hope you are proud of yourself.

FindingMyWay said...

@Neal

Thank you my dear friend. This is a great opportunity and hopefully I'll make the best of it.

@Nicole

I will definitely be shouting out for help. Heck, I already do and I haven't even started yet. ; ) And yes, I'm starting to become a little proud of myself. (Shhhh, don't tell the part of me who thinks that's crazy talk!!)

@everyone else... on a completely unrelated note, this is the first time I've used @ in this way. I'm growing in many, many ways!! :)

jordanthomas said...

Congratulations. College is a wonderful experience. I had been out of school many many years when I decided to enter that world. I was so close to graduation before an illness stopped me. Didn't give up though. Retried 4 years ago but could not finish. Go get em girl.

FindingMyWay said...

JT, Thank you! I am very excited. I'm sorry you weren't able to graduate, that must have been extremely frustrating for you. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement!

FMW

drakames said...

I was really afraid to go back to school too. I'm so glad I did though! I love it! If I could just go to my classes and not work, I would be one happy camper. :) From what I've read on your blog, you are really smart. I'm sure you'll thrive at school! It's a change, and sometimes change is difficult until you adjust to it, but it's worth it. I wish you the best!

Amy

FindingMyWay said...

Thanks Amy! It is a blessing that I'm able to go back to school without having to work. I need to remember that daily. I do hope I thrive...that's the goal anyway! I appreciate your support.

A Gay Mormon Boy said...

School can be a really scary animal. I work on a campus and I'm applying to grad school. I'm definitely excited and scared for myself. (BTW-- if you're at USU, I'll offer whatever help I can. Just send a quick email).

Good luck!

FindingMyWay said...

@GMB

Thank you so much!! I'm sad to say that I will not be attending USU. That would have been great to have the help. Good luck with grad school. How exciting!