Wednesday, March 27, 2013
My Recent Facebook Post
I'm bringing the gay HOME. Please, Christian friends and family, give me a few minutes to ask a few heartfelt questions. If you'd like to reply, please do. If you'd like to consider my questions rhetorical, that's okay too. I'm hoping to make you truly consider, and that's all.
I'm guessing most of you have someone in your life who is gay. But I'm betting, for the most part, they're not extremely close with you. So imagine with me for a minute that your precious daughter, or sweet son, realizes they're gay at some point in time. It could be while they're young. It could be as a teen, or young adult. It could even be after they've been married to someone of the opposite gender for years. But they're your CHILD. You've been extremely close with them throughout the years, always sacrificing, nurturing, teaching and loving them with all you can muster. It's what you do, you're a parent.
But then your child has suddenly changed (not really). You now have something more to consider. I suppose it's easy to continue to love them and be close with them IF they're not gay-behaving. As long as they're doing as has always been taught in their church, in their home. But imagine with me for a moment that what speaks to your CHILD isn't accepted by your church, or even by you, as far as what you've always felt and believed. What's worse is, in your belief, is that it's not even accepted by God. But this identity is important to your child. He/she values that part of him/herself. They've loved God, they've loved you, they've lived the best way they knew how. Yet now they find that embracing their homosexuality, and even acting on it, is what brings them happiness. The kind of happiness that we're always taught about in church... the PURE JOY that everyone strives for. It's not what YOU believe will bring joy, in fact you believe fervently that it will bring just the opposite.
You need to make some hard choices. Do you stand by them, continue to love them, nurture them and support them in their happiness? And I don't mean love them "even though" or "only if." I mean truly, love and stand by. Or do you hold to the beliefs you've always held that your son/daughter will not be favored of God, that they're sinning, that they're even EVIL? Will you shun them? Will you put a barrier between you and them? Will you preach to them that this isn't God's way? Or is it somewhere in the middle? Do you trust that THEY can make their own decisions, separate from you? Do you allow them their own path, without pounding the pulpit and chanting scripture at them? Do you step back and realize that this is their life, and you can step back and allow them their own feelings, beliefs, convictions and consequences?
You see, you don't have to make THEIR story, yours. I don't for a moment suggest that you shouldn't continue to be whatever example you feel you need to be. I don't believe a person even has to let go of their own beliefs while being a loving support to their child (brother, sister, parent, aunt, best friend). Both can exist, and should. We Christians have a Savior. We have a God. He will judge us - you should not. Will your God shun you for choosing the side of love? Choosing your child? Mine won't.
I will tell you that I will always trust my heart. I will follow the spirit and my intuition and my very heart when it comes to ANYthing that my child may find themselves a part of in their life. Homosexuality isn't something that my children deal with personally. I pray they never have to, but only because it's a hard road and people are cruel. But there is simply nothing that my children could do or be that would pull my support from them. I will stand by. And after this life, when I meet my God, I will be proud that I chose the side of LOVE and not judgment, cruelty and abandonment. My God will accept me, and my child, when we have acted with LOVE and acceptance and effort.
I'm specifically having issue with the fact that there are people who are cruel in the name of Christianity. Certainly I don't take issue with people who lovingly continue to be the examples they feel they need to be. I would NEVER want or ask someone to change their deeply held beliefs and morals for any reason. Just stop hating in the name of God, pure and simple. We can all co-exist, you know? My God is a tremendous God. He loves me. He accepts me. He cheers me on. Say/think what you may, but I'm the one who knows what MY relationship is with God. And we're good. Never been better. Don't you feel sorry for me, not for one second! My Savior is the one who sees me through, and will continue to do so.