Sunday, March 24, 2013

Temple Recommend

Kendall wants to get married to Valerie. He needs to start working to get a temple recommend, so he's been chatting with our bishop. One of Kendall's concerns has been what my role will be in his getting remarried. He asked the bishop if I was supposed to write a letter or request a temple divorce. I told him that men can be sealed to all sorts of women and I won't be required to do anything. A few days ago I remember that I'm not a member of the church anyway, and my own temple blessings have been removed, so I doubt anything will need to happen. The bishop confirmed to Kendall that he can be sealed to more than one woman, so it won't be a problem. But then...

The bishop asked Kendall about a video he was involved in. Kendall explained that we were a part of the Far Between documentary.

Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:

The bishop said the stake president was concerned about it and asked if Kendall could request to have the video removed from the website. Kendall said he wouldn't. That made me very happy because there is ZERO wrong with people having opinions. Even members of the church can have opinions (GASP) and still be good people. Kendall is one of the best people I know and if he's punished for supporting me in my journey, I'm going to have a fit. He's trying his best to do what he can to make a better life for himself and his new girlfriend. His goal is to make it back to the church, to go through the temple, and to begin his "forever" all over again. Why should he be punished for that?

Kendall and I spent an hour or so earlier, watching the videos that he and I made, as well as the one he made for the Straight Spouse Network. There was discussion of how members have said acidic things, and how there are certain people who have made the journey more difficult. Yes, these particular individuals were church members, but we weren't bashing the church. We were explaining the horrendous remarks from humans, who happened to be LDS, and the ones who backed up their claims with the church website... but there was no bashing of the religion, the organization, or even the members.

I have a hard time believing that the stake president even watched the videos. I know our bishop hasn't watched them, but Kendall gave him the links and he said he'd watch them later. I have faith in him and know that he'll be fair to Kendall. I do doubt the stake president, however. The experience I had with that man tells me he lacks the compassion necessary to help Kendall move through this situation. But, we'll see.

All I know is that Kendall deserves whatever happiness he can experience. If he thinks it will come by marrying his girl in the temple, I want that for him. If he thinks it will come by attending church every week, paying his tithing, not drinking coffee, etc... then good for him! His happiness needs to be of utmost importance. If a video that he and I made, sharing our story to help others who may have a similar situation, will hurt him, well, I don't even know what to say. He was supportive, loving, visibly hurt by certain people, and honest. He'd really better not be punished for being the excellent person that he is.


Neal said...

Wow! I really hope the SP isn't a jerk to him. He was so supportive and mature about the whole situation, it would be tragic for it to backfire on him now...

Hang in there!

Dean Scott said...

I wish Kendall well. I am glad that the two of you are considerate to each other. I hope his church leaders will treat him with love and respect.

My former wife and I have a good relationship. I am happy that she returned to church activity and her new husband joined the church. I will be happy for them if/when they are sealed. She has been supportive of my resignation from the church and my coming out. It is so much better when former spouses get along.